Over the past several months I have gotten a few unsympathetic comments about my book entitled Breaking The Silence. One reviewer wrote, “ I’m sure writing about abuse is very therapeutic, though why anyone else would want to read about all the pain and suffering is beyond me. Definitely not a fun read.” So I am here to explain why I wrote a book about something that nobody wants to think about.

For starters, let me just say that I can understand why people may have the above attitude concerning sexual and psychological abuse. It isn’t fun…to hear about or to experience. It is still taboo in our society in many ways. It is brushed under the carpet way too often or dismissed at a whim way too many times.

Sexual and psychological abuse are much more prevalent than any of us would care to admit. It crosses all boundaries…gender, race, social class and upbringing, even barriers and boundaries of time. Sexual abuse and abuse of all types have been prevalent since the human race began. In the past, it was buried with people when they passed away; family secrets that were guarded with life and limb. However, today our society is expounding on healing much more than ever. Even so, it is still a topic that few care to divulge.

Except for groups such as NAMI, RAINN and other pioneering entities that have emerged over the past thirty or forty years, the topics of incest, rape and child abuse have been “hushed” in the past. Which leads me back to why I wrote Breaking The Silence. I wanted to raise awareness and bring hope to victims that healing IS possible.

You see, Breaking The Silence is my life story. My pain. My anguish. My degeneration. But also my hope. My healing. My journey. As I was growing up, I felt as though nobody else existed in this world who had endured what I had endured. I felt alone. Worthless. I knew deep inside I was damaged goods. When I became an adult I sought help from counselors and psychiatrists. None of them would tell me that I could heal. They would only say “it is possible for some people some of the time.”

When I was hurting, desperate, needy and hopeless I screamed inside to know that I could some day be happy. But nobody could promise me that happiness. Thus Breaking The Silence was born. I wrote this book to let sexual and psychological abuse victims (all abuse victims, really), know that YES they can find happiness again! YES they can heal! The process may be slow and excruciatingly painful at times. But I wanted people to know that the pain is worth the future gain! Not to despair! Happiness and victory CAN and WILL be reclaimed through dedication and perseverance!

Breaking The Silence was written out of my broken heart and soul. It was written with the glimmer of perceived hope down that ever so sought after tunnel of light. And I can tell you after suffering for over thirty years that the glimmer of light is real and so is the tunnel through which we have to walk to find that light. It is a process…a journey…an undertaking not for the faint of heart. It is a quest…a mission to be embarked upon. It is a time of walking through the valley and finding paths into the mountains…then down again. It is a yearning, a soul searching plight of the heart and mind as broken pieces of our lives are repaired and rebuilt once again.

If I could have only one wish for Breaking The Silence it would be to bring hope and healing to as many people as possible who have been broken under the duress of their existence. If only I could accomplish that much with my story I would consider my life to have been well represented as to what I believe I have been put here to say. Abuse is a shock to the system, a denigration beyond all that can be imagined. But with the right cognizance it is also a building block..stepping stones, if you may…to inspiration and completion. It is all in the attitude as to where a person will find themselves one future day. And I hope and pray Breaking The Silence is the map to lead other prisoners of darkness to their enlightened destinations.

So that is why I wrote a book about a topic that nobody wants to think about. Because it’s critically important in helping fellow sufferers of the fates of life come to terms with…and appreciate….the gift they’ve been given as part of the integral congregation of souls on this planet. Everybody matters. Everybody’s important. And everybody is entitled to peace, happiness and prosperity!

DIAMANTE LAVENDAR