Dr. Nora Femenia is an expert in resolving conflicts in long term relationships. She offers conflict resolution coaching to individuals and couples, using her own method that merges developmental psychology and conflict studies. This new, fresh perspective helps clients:
Recover trust and develop respectful communication;
Get your needs for love and connection met
Feel empowered to take steps towards personal growth
Nora’s experience and passion is working with distressed families and their conflicts. She was a family therapist in Buenos Aires, Argentina for twenty years before moving to Syracuse, N. Y. to pursue her Ph.D. in Conflict Studies.
Since graduating from Syracuse University, Nora has taught how to resolve interpersonal conflicts using mediation to students and groups in the US and abroad.
Attachment theory is the core of Nora’s approach. How we are treated by our caretaker, whether with security and love, with anxiety or with simple rejection shapes our view of the world for ever. Nora’s conflict coaching focuses on mapping early attachments, discovering the mindset produced by them and listing the non-productive behaviors emanating from this mindset.
Her working style identifies the early frustrations working in the background of the marital interaction,
-provides strategies to understand and accept each other’s emotional wounds,
-develops a “map” for helping a couple improve their communication by focusing on love, connection and respect.
“People trapped by their attachment-generated mindset see reality through this dark mirror. If they were raised by an anxious mother, they learned: “You can never trust someone completely,” so it will be natural for them to struggle to trust their marriage partner. Nothing a partner can do will offer the needed security if this early conditioning is not revealed and addressed in the coaching experience. If and when people become aware of how their original childhood attachment conditioning has become a mindset, they can recognize their limitations, learn new behaviors and change their lives.
On her blog, Ask Nora, readers share experiences and comments such as this one:
“Well, when we found your books, it was like a miracle. My husband has started to see the impact of his passive aggression for the first time, and to see it dramatically. He has started to take action on his own to get better. I have been able to see that my trying to fix things has only been making things worse.”
Research shows that emotionally fulfilling relationships are the pillars of mental and physical health.
By helping clients expand their emotional mindset to try new behaviors, Nora guides them to develop loving and nurturing connections.
The Silent Marriage:: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness, 2nd Edition (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression Book 5) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
It’s only recently that the real impact of passive aggressive behavior on a relationship has been identified in all of its destructive impact. This behavior is particularly hard on women subject to the silent treatment, cold shoulder, or other ways of emotional withholding from their partner. It causes women to develop a progressive feeling of isolation, of being left emotionally dry and bereft precisely in the most intimate of relationship.
Whatever the degree of emotional detachment they experience, the impact in their self-esteem is very profound and long lasting.In this new, revised edition this book actually describes the frustration of your emotional needs caused by the silent marriage, followed by mental confusion, imprecise guilt feelings, the impression of walking on eggshells to avoid being rejected, together with extreme loneliness and constant sadness to no end.
This is an important book because builds on cold shoulder as the main toxic behavior, going to describe the whole passive aggressive marriage and its impact on your self-esteem and well being. Even when you don’t consider his withholding of connection a kind of abuse in marriage, the fact that spouses are emotionally dependent on each other for love and support makes you chronically starved for his love and attention. You can even wonder if this is his way to control your happiness in life? In this case, resentment creeps in and destroys any remaining trust.
Once you can identify these emotional states, you can go on learning strategies and alternatives to counter his passive aggression communication style, without resorting to violence, begging or other tricks. It will also gives you a map that could actually help your partner to see through his behavior and understand what is he doing to sabotage the marriage.
Overall this expanded and revised 2015 edition is full of practical tips and strategies to protect yourself and motivate you to be happier with or without him. It will help you to move your relationship from the current stand still to a place where you can enjoy a better experience with more love and respect.
Emotional Abuse:: The Hidden War for Power and Control in Your Relationship (Healing Emotional Abuse Book 1) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
When we are in search of a deep emotional connection, this need can be so important to us that we become blind to the danger signals sent by the other person’s behaviors. We try to be emotionally connected, but the person we love has serious needs to be in control to feel connected…and feeling loved gets confused with being abused, fast.
It can get to the point when we are not sure what the difference between love and emotional abuse is, don’t recognize obvious emotional abuse signs or are not sure how to do emotional abuse recovery.
In this book, readers are invited to understand the core notions of emotional abuse and emotionally abusive relationships, and their differences with a loving, secure relationship.
It begins with definitions and explanations of why an emotionally abusive marriage happens, then works its way up to helping the reader analyze if she is in an abusive relationship.The book helps the reader find her own thoughts about her personal situation (or that of a friend), together with real, vivid stories of women who have survived abuse and grown from it into full people.
You might think that emotional abuse is easy to spot or define. But the reason so many people suffer from an emotionally abusive marriage is that it is hard to tell what is abusive and what is not, because lots of abuse is framed under “care.” You have to ask whether your partner is hindering your development as an adult by the use of excessive control. You have to ask yourself whether or not the person you love is hurting you. A marriage has to be an equal relationship, but using control between partners destroys this balance and prevents their individual growth. Here is useful information about ways to decide if what you are experiencing is care or abusive control.
By addressing the signs of spousal emotional abuse, Nora shines a light on this painful issue. For readers needing support in healing emotional abuse, the next book of this series: “Breaking Free from Emotional Abuse: How to Restore Your Joy by Healing Your Life,” will continue the support of the emotional abuse healing process.
Escaping The Sexless Marriage: A Practical Manual to Bring Back Intimacy and Trust into a Passive Aggressive Marriage (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression Book 3) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
To have and develop a strong marriage, we all need regular satisfaction of both partners’ sexual needs. Physical intimacy allows a degree of closeness that no other activity can offer, because it nurtures trust and reinforces the reciprocal attachment.
An intimate relationship delivers what marriage is all about:
–deep feelings of connection
–trust evolving into emotional bonding
–security delivering happiness
That is the reason why couples in a sexless marriage feel lonely, confused, hurt, depressed and emotionally frustrated. As marriage implies feeling loved, attractive, and desirable, a person living in a sex-starved marriage feels utterly rejected by their partner.
Do you find yourself feeling rejected or neglected physically by your partner and wondering why are you in a non-sexual relationship, when you married him exactly because you wanted a husband and not a friend?
Living in a sex-starved marriage, feeling rejected, not sexy enough?
A sexless relationship is sometimes the result of marrying an emotionally unavailable husband who refuses any intimate or sexual experience with their partner.
Having intimacy issues is hurtful because you can end up blaming yourself for the lack of intimacy or think that your husband is not interested in you because you are not attractive enough. This belief will seriously damage your self-esteem.
This book offers a different perspective: your sexless relationship could be produced because your emotionally unavailable husband has a hidden fear of intimacy, and decides to withdraw instead of acknowledge the root of the problem and confront the issue together.
The part of the passive aggression is that he is not ready ever to accept a conversation that would include reviewing his lack of sexual initiative. There is no way you can improve sexless marriage without a sincere effort from both sides. The unhappy marriage will continue unchallenged up until you learn how to confront this basic lack of an intimate relationship, and show him you can’t accept this cold relationship as a real marriage.
It’s time to learn about how passive aggressive behavior produces a celibacy marriage that tears down any intimacy and trust you could hope to have in your marriage. It’s time to make changes, stop this unhappy marriage and get your own needs met.
This book is the missing “how to” for getting unstuck and moving past your problems into a richer and more meaningful life. It’s a roadmap to living your most happy, most authentic, most amazing life. Get the sex back in your sexless marriage and the love back in your life!
This book helps you explore the connections between emotional needs, attachment styles, and passive aggressive behavior and how all those aspects play a role in your self-esteem and sex life, without your knowing!
Here is a practical guide that will help you improve every moment of your life and create changes that last, this ebook teaches you how to build:
–Confidence: In your own self-attractiveness;
–Strength: From silencing your needs into expressing them;
–Courage: Don’t let yourself down again;
–Success: Establish a new communication with your spouse.
Why settle for loneliness, when the potential to live an amazing relationship is at your fingertips, right now?
Relationship Counseling And Passive Aggressive Behavior: Is your counselor an expert in passive aggression? (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression Book 7) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
This book helps the wife recognize the impact of passive aggressive behaviors on her marriage.
After reading this book, we learn about the impacts of constant passive aggression on the unsuspecting partner:
THE FIRST IMPACT: Loneliness
THE SECOND IMPACT: Destroying Your Self-Esteem
THE THIRD IMPACT: You Can’t Make your Own Decisions!
THE FOURTH IMPACT: Depression, Hopelessness
Only after realizing that she is indeed in this sad situation, she can be motivated enough to search for external help to heal this toxic marriage. Of course, the husband will show strong resistance to share the visit to a relationship therapist or to a counselor. Usually they express that they are satisfied with the way things are, and deny the harmful impact of their behavior.
Wives trapped in this situation express a common question: “I would like to have the help of a counselor or therapist, but when I called one, he told me they he didn’t address passive aggression. What I need is therapy for his passive aggression. The trap is that the one doing such nasty behavior is my husband and he rejects any external help…how can I get help for my passive aggressive marriage then?”
If the husband doesn’t want to take up the responsibility for his own behavior, it doesn’t mean that she is condemned to suffer alone forever. This book helps her to identify distress areas, so she is better qualified to explain her needs to the therapist or counselor.
The only solution for this dilemma is for her to get an individual counselor that understand this particular style of marital interaction, knows the progressive hurt happening on her personality and can prevent or repair the damage while supporting the wife to recover her identity.
Relationship Counseling And Passive Aggressive Behavior will shorten the time in the councilor’s office, because the client will know exactly what her pain points are, inviting her counselor to provide solutions to urgent issues. Once they are addressed, she will be empowered enough to manage or transform her passive aggressive marriage.
When Love Hurts: Repairing The Pain of Loving an Emotionally Abusive Person (Emotional Abuse Book 5) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
This book offers you a new view of any abusive relationship as a contract for learning through pain. In this way, we build on these facts:
-we are born in this life with a purpose to accomplish
-we are supposed to discover which purpose each one of us has
-we have to apply all our energies and skills to accomplish this purpose
If we came to this world with a purpose, and we need to learn some skills in life to be able to accomplish our life mission, then entering into very difficult situations, such as an abuse situation where one can end up tortured or severely hurt is part of life’s program. It has the purpose of teaching us resilience. With resilience, emotional abuse does not control you; you control emotional abuse and use it to make yourself stronger.
Which skills can we learn? Resilience is composed of several other skills:
~Patience, to be in this situation and don’t despair that life can be good;
~Stubbornness, or unending hope that an exit is near;
~Strategy, to learn from the enemy about how to outsmart him/her
~Endurance, as not to forget that the objective is not win the war but to survive
~Humor, because in desperate situations helps lighten them
Of course, not everybody reading this lesson will accept this frame, and most of you could be hurt thinking that I’m promoting using pain to teach others. Please understand that I don’t want to invalidate your pain, frustration, depression, loneliness, or desire to give up. Emotional abuse is a real wound, with a real perpetrator. At the same time, I want you to be able to take control of your own situation, and use the pain life is giving you to make your life better. Otherwise, the emotional abuse is a “stain” that you try to hide by covering it up, always moving fast into the future and other distractions so that your pain isn’t rearing it’s ugly head. Here you learn that each challenge big or small is presented to teach us some lesson to make us wiser or stronger.
Emotionally Abusive Relationships: Your Guide to Healing from Emotional Abuse in Marriage and Divorce (Healing Emotional Abuse Book 3) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
Women usually think that leaving behind an abusive relationship solves everything, and emotional abuse recovery will automatically follow…
If you are here, your first worry is to get to a safe place, with no more emotionally abusive attacks on you.
A little bit down the road, the long term effects of an emotional abuse relationship can hit you, challenging you with deeper questions:
Why all this abuse did happen to me?
What is the meaning in my life of having an abusive relationship?
How is it affecting my self-esteem?
How do I go from my present situation of an abused wife to a different one of being a self-reliant woman, resilient to emotional attacks in the future?
Emotional abuse healing begins with your skill to see your own emotional abuse relationship inside the project of building the necessary skills of resiliency to fulfill your purpose in life.
Abuse is a stepping stone to build the virtues of resilience you need now to take control of our own live!
This book gives you a very different perspective: to see an emotional abuse marriage as a sacred contract entered into in order for you to develop extraordinary resilience skills. “Emotionally Abusive Relationships: A Guide to Healing from Emotional Abuse in Marriage and Divorce,” is not only a working manual for survivors who are freeing their lives from the weight of abusive relationships.
It is a complete map for your new life, charting the different milestones that signal your transformation from former victim to a more powerful, resilient and resourceful identity.
Emotionally Abusive Relationships: A Guide to Healing from emotional abuse in marriage and divorce, offers you a deep look at:
The motivations behind all abusive behavior, as control;
Why you need to remember your own life purpose;
Learn what is the meaning of the abuse episode in your life;
Identify the moment when you have learned the lesson and are ready to leave, or ready to change the relationship;
Practical tips to heal yourself from the abuse and stress impact;
How to repair your self-esteem and recover your life project!
This book will take you by your hand in the most exciting adventure of your life: recovering yourself!
Boosting Your Self Esteem: Be Your Own Heroine! (Healing Emotional Abuse Book 4) – NON-FICTION; RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, MARRIAGE
Boosting Your Self-Esteem: Be Your Own Heroine! is a new book from the relationship experts at Creative Conflict Resolutions. Created for women dealing with low self-esteem on a daily basis, the authors tackle the tough questions of body image, doubt, and fear, as well as the mental power of each woman to achieve the life that she truly wants.
With this quick, easy read, women are encouraged to be their own “heroines” by creating their own awesome life story and banishing the “bad guys”: negativity, fear, doubt, and self-destructive habits. This book comes with simple “power ups” for women to use immediately in order to start feeling more powerful and more positive with each chapter.
This is a guide for women to improve their self esteem by building relationships, to break out from the isolation, share, find support, break from the daily routine, and grow their own life.
Are you ready to begin a new life as the superhero of your own story? Pick up your copy of Boosting Your Self-Esteem: Be Your Own Heroine!