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Denial, Deceit, Discovery by J.James


DDDWritten in a wonderfully, clean and effortless style, Denial, Deceit, Discovery from J.James is a frank, open and honest journey for one man; from early childhood fumbles to the annulment of his marriage and subsequent emergence as a gay man who has found true monogamous love. There are plenty of hiccups along the way, as the title suggests, but these are what shape the person we discover as the novel comes to a close.

After a brief prologue covering how the memoir came about, Denial, Deceit, Discovery starts with our main protagonist, Jack Ellis at Primary school age. The first time he sees a grown man naked, the thoughts evoked and the understandable way a 9/10 year old would try and process these feelings are wonderfully covered. The writing is graphic, but it feels necessary – it helps the reader to understand the confusion Jack is obviously feeling.

As I continued to read I found myself really rooting for Jack to piece it all together. The clues are all there, both physically and mentally, and you appreciate that with each denial only further anguish lies ahead.

The deceit begins when Jack meets Gareth at the Gym. Still convinced he is straight he categorises him as a ‘friend’ despite what occurs between the pair. All the while preparations for Jack upcoming marriage to Maria progress. There is no guilt, remorse or regret. Jack is convinced nothing has changed. He still believes he is a good guy, merely making bad choices.

As the tale continues and men, physically and online, come and go, deceit eventually gives way to discovery. And although it certainly isn’t smooth sailing from that point on, it’s here, amongst the anguish, I must admit I felt a sense of relief. Jack’s journey has never been an easy one and so for him to finally begin to accept himself for who he really is means he can hopefully achieve the true happiness that to that point has eluded him.

Denial, Deceit, Discovery is a well-written novel, done in the style of a personal memoir. The aim of the work, though I am sure it was extremely cathartic to the author, is essentially to assist anyone that lives in fear of ‘coming out’. I would say without a shadow of a doubt that this aim has well and truly been met. If it goes someway to avoiding anyone half the turmoil that Jack goes through it will be worth it.

An inspiring piece from a very talented new author.

**** 4 ½ STARS


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