I have had a painful and maddening desire for my voice to be heard, to be understood, and validated.
At the age of 40, I underwent back surgery for a condition called Degenerative Disc Disease or basically, my spinal cord had one missing disc, one herniated disc and one bulging disc. I also came to find out that my spinal column was pinching my nerves, and a great portion would need to be removed. For five years, no one believed me or helped me through this time; until I met a friend who had gone through three back surgeries, suggested I go immediately to a back surgeon for thorough examination. Once again, I found my self fighting and advocating for myself; ultimately caring for my self….as I had always done. Alone….I would face my second greatest challenge (complex back surgery); as the first was staying sober, which I have now done for 11 years. At the time, I was working for the State of Nevada with mentally/physically challenged individuals, and my medical bills were sky high. The epiphany I experienced was that of great melancholy madness. I had spent my entire life doing for others (trying to care for myself as well, and feeling guilty for doing it) and was miserable; as I was neglecting myself. I needed to care for myself, without the feeling of guilt, that I was unworthy.
I studied Matisse, Van Gogh, Klimt, Dali, Freida, Kiki Smith, Jackson Pollack, and O’Keefe. I read Dorothy Parker, Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allan Poe , Keats, and Anne Sexton. I have been writing and painting my whole life, exploring and evolving. Working through and facing my demons and nightmares. Outcast and outsider in my own family and memories. Past trauma and experience, only comforted by cathartic exercise, I have learned love is no more then a symbiotic relationship.
Moments of Despair to Clarity (Poetry)
Denise Mageau lives in Las Vegas, NV. Some of her influences include Virginia Woolf, Kahlil Gibran, Ansel Adams, and Dorothy Parker. Their writings, photography, and paintings inspired her growing up and to this day. Being a recovered alcoholic and drug addict, Denise hopes her words help and comfort those with similar problems.
Wallpaper and Wallflowers (Poetry)
I have had a painful and maddening desire for my voice to be heard.
This book of poetry faces and confronts fears, abuse, and loss of love and self.
This is a book of my journey through all my many lives, masks, and characters I have played through out my life. Working through and facing my demons and nightmares. This is my journey.